Have you ever bought something and then changed your mind? For Alison Jenson, 15, this used to happen several times a week. Alison was a shopaholic. She just couldn't stop shopping and she loved special offers.
Alison's bedroom is full of stuff. "I've been to every shop in Birmingham, I think, "says Alison. She picks up some earrings. The labels are still on them. "These were half price, "she says. "I've never won them. "Alison's problem wasn't just jewellery. She also bought a lot of clothes, though not many shoes, because they were usually too expensive. She has also bought lots of other small things — like 20 new covers for her phone. She hasn't used any of them.
According to experts, we all feel excited after we buy something new. For shopaholics, it's a little different. Soon after they buy something, they think they've made a mistake and start to feel unhappy. So they buy themselves something else to feel happier.
Psychologists （心理学家）first described the problems of shopaholics in 1915. However, there was very little research on the subject until recently. Now, doctors think thousands of people suffer from the problem, and the situation is getting worse. There are also more teenage shopaholics now, although most young people don't have enough money to go shopping very regularly.
Alison knew she had a problem. "I often bought something every day. Usually it was something small, but I just needed to buy it, "she says. "I spent money that I got for my birthday, and when I was short of cash, I borrowed money from friends or my parents. When I couldn't go shopping, I felt anxious. Then one day, my parents just looked at all the stuff in my room and said, This is crazy! 'I knew they were right. "I needed some big changes in my life.
Alison now gets help with her problem and feels she has changed. She no longer thinks she's a shopaholic. "When I want to buy something in a shop, I ask myself two questions, "she says. "Do I need it? Can I afford it? The answer to both questions is usually 'no', so I walk away. It's great!"
It was last January, when I'd just finished a charity(慈善)and was on the train back home, that I put down my phone and started writing thank-you notes to people who had helped.
When I got off the train, I felt amazingly good. The next day, I wrote more thank-yous and the same feeling of happiness hit me again. I suddenly had the idea: Why not keep on doing this for every day of the year?
To keep on task, I decided to pick out a different theme for each month. January was charity.
February would be neighbors, I decided. And I thought of a number of names right away: the owner of our local bookstore, who let me and my little son in before the store opened and offered to play his favorite songs; our babysitter, who dropped off a bag of old board games for our kids to play;….
While wring the notes, I realized how often I had spent my time on the phone moving from app to app, appreciating(欣赏)other people's lives. Writing thank-you notes allowed me the time to do something different, paying more attention to my own life.
In the following months, I wrote to my friends, doctors, teachers and parenting role models. In July, my "food" month, I wrote to Julie, who used to cook at my favorite restaurant. It went like this:
Dear. Julie,
I've been finding myself missing you lately. Thank you for hosting and cooking beautiful and thoughtful food. Jake and I will never forget when you sent out biscuits shaped into the number VI for our sixth anniversary (周年纪念日). We talk about it every year.
Thank you. We miss you.
Love,
Gina
I was happy to receive a note back from her. Julie replied, "I don't think I've ever received such a touching letter before. I'm going through a hard time right now, and this helps. "
On December 31, I wrote my last card—to Jake, my husband, and our two kids. And I took a picture of us, so I could remember the feeling welling up inside me. Gratitude.
Many people might think that if they had more money, then they would be happier in life. For example, people might look at what others have, like expensive clothes or nice cars, and wish they could have the same. But the things that money can buy can not bring happiness to a person for long.
① But is that really true? Studies have found that money can, in fact, make people happier. ② Instead, it's giving money to others that makes people happy. ③ It could be buying a present for a friend or a family member. ④ It could be buying a homeless person food to eat. It could be giving money to a person in need. Just think about the last time you used your own money to do something for someone else. How did you feel? Whether it is a small or large amount of money, people feel happier when they give. This is because making someone else happy makes the giver happy, too.
This idea of connecting your happiness to the happiness of others is described as ubuntu in an African language. There is even a story about a man visiting Africa who asked some kids to race to a nearby tree. The first child to touch the tree would get a sweet treat. Surprisingly, all the children held hands and ran together. They all touched the tree at the same time. The man asked why they had done this. The children simply said they could only enjoy eating the treat if everyone had one.
