It's apparently become a trend in schools around the world to ban students from using the term, “best friends,” according to psychologist Dr. Barbara Greenberg. The movement, which is believed to have started in Prince George's school in South London, isn't intended to discourage close friendships, but rather encourage a wider friend group, Greenberg says.
“Let's face it. You can't ban somebody from having a close relationship, and you can't really ban somebody from having a best friend but what the schools are trying to do is foster the idea of kids having more than a single friend,” Greenberg said.
The idea is to increase the number of interactions a student may have with different members of his or her peer group. “I see kids come in all week long who are feeling awful because they are either nobody's best friend or their best friend has moved on,” Greenberg says.
Jay Jacobs, who operates Timber Lake Camp in New York, stresses the downside of not fostering multiple relationships at a young age, for exactly that reason. “I think that there are problems in just having one friend,” Jacobs says. “Remember as you grow up, interests change, and children go in different directions.” Jacobs adds that teachers at Timber Lake, which changes positions between Glen Cove in winter and Shandake in summer, have made it a point to promote a more inclusive environment for years.
Jacobs reminds people that, “As you grow up, interests change, and children go in different directions,” so having only one friend can be risky. He holds the belief that children will be better set up for success later in life if they get used to having a wider friend group at a young age. “It's about promoting kindness, looking to children to be kind to one another and to be aware of what it looks like when you're not,” Jacobs says.
