The shower, I find, is the best place to cry. The water1the sound of my sadness, while washing away any2of my pain. I shower after the kids have gone to bed; it's the only time I can be3.
I always did my best to 4 my two children from my tears. If I needed to cry, I cried by myself.
Yet, I encourage my two boys to cry. My 7-year-old 5 himself on never crying at school. “Oh,but you must cry,” I 6 . “Crying is good. It gets the sadness out. Never7 your tears.”
But then I did just that. What might it do to them to see their mother upset?
Then my father died, and there was no way I could 8 my grief(悲痛)and keep my feelings inside. I tried to get on with things, but the sadness 9came. The realization my dad was actually gone 10 me with an intensity (强度)that was impossible to cover up.
To my surprise,my boys didn't seem too 11 , They found me hiding in the bedroom one afternoon, 12. “It's OK,mommies get sad too,” I told them, smiling through my tears. “Don't be sad, Mommy. Granddad's coming back as a baby,” my 7-year-old said,his tiny arm stretched (伸出)13 my shoulders. “Think about 14 ,” he went on. “Think about all the people who love you.”
I realized that in hiding my 15. I was only denying what it means to be human. I felt16 I had led my sons to believe that “negative” emotions are only a concept,and not something they should have.
It's one thing to tell my children that it's 17 to cry. It's another to show them how it's done.
We owe (欠) that to our children, according to social researcher and author Brene Brown. During her TED talk The Power of vulnerability(弱点),Brown said it's 18 that we “let ourselves be seen — deeply seen”.
"Our job is not to protect our children,to keep them perfect," said Brown. “Our job is to look and say, 'You're not 19, and you're made for struggles, but you are 20 of love and belonging'.”