Learning how to face silence in conversation is an important skill, especially when working across cultures.
In international negotiations, experienced negotiator (谈判者) stay silent and impassive on purpose because that will make others feel uncomfortable and possibly make compromises without having to do anything. Americans especially can't stand silence, so they often are the first to break the silence and sometimes might be at a disadvantage in negotiations.
So, what's the best response? Set your jaw and wait it out. Don't offer a compromise just because they are not speaking. If you have to say something, ask a direct question, such as "What's your initial reaction to that offer?" Once a silence is getting into 45 seconds you could say, "Let's come back to that in a minute and go on with the next part of our negotiation."
In presentations, silence can be far more effective than dramatic passion (热情). Before starting, look at the audience and be silent for a moment because that says, "I'm in control. I know what I'm doing. I'm confident."
A classic example was when Apple co-founder Steve Jobs launched the first iPhone. He introduced with many pauses so that you didn't miss his key points. Because silence makes us nervous, our natural reaction is that we'd better pay attention, there's something going on here.
Equally, when giving a speech to staff or trainees, pauses count-especially if there are negatives. If you keep talking you're spoon feeding. Give people a moment of silence to get beyond the emotional response and to start thinking consciously and processing.
Silence can be an inward-focused thoughtful activity or an outward stillness where you give yourself the time to watch and think and listen to the world around you. Having observed the use of silence in Finland and also among the Blackfeet Nation, a North American Indian tribe in northern Montana in the US, we can see benefits far beyond wheeling and dealing.
Silence can be a very powerful point for understanding ourselves, understanding others, for developing better common understanding and more productive outcomes and that applies to business, politics, education, law, medicine, every area of human life.
