In the eyes of many foreigners, Chinese are the best hosts and the worst guests in the world. And western hosts sometimes look rude (粗鲁的) in the eyes of Chinese guests. It is because the guest-host relationship in China is quite different from that in some western countries.
In China, guests are almost like gods. Whenever I enter a Chinese friend's home, there is always fruit on the table for me, and someone is quick to bring me a cup of tea or water. In the west, generally the guest is not a god. Acting according to the host's way of doing things is usual behavior for a guest.
My wife's mother, a very kind Chinese lady, doesn't smoke. When I see some of her guests smoking in her house, as a non-smoker, I feel unhappy. Usually, I want to stop them directly, but I must realize that in China, to be a good host, she must not do that.
In most North American homes, if you are a guest, and the hosts are not smokers, you should not smoke in their house. At the very least, you should ask, "Is it OK if I smoke?" But don't be surprised if they say, "No, you can't smoke." In my culture, if you smoke in their house, you are a bad guest, but if they don't allow you to smoke in their house, they are not rude hosts.
In a word, no matter where you are, the best way to be a good guest is to adapt to (适应) the habits of your hosts.
