We talk continuously about how to make children more "resilient (有恢复力的)"，but whatever we're doing, it's not working. Rates of anxiety disorders and depression are rising rapidly among teenagers. What are we doing wrong?
Nassim Taleb invented the word "antifragile" and used it to describe a small but very important class of systems that gain from shocks, challenges, and disorder. The immune (免疫的) system is one of them: it requires exposure to certain kinds of bacteria and potential allergens (过敏原) in childhood in order to develop to its full ability.
Children's social and emotional abilities are as antifragile as their immune systems. If we overprotect kids and keep them "safe" from unpleasant social situations and negative emotions, we deprive (剥夺) them of the challenges and opportunities for self-building they need to grow strong. Such children are likely to suffer more when exposed later to other unpleasant but ordinary life events, such as teasing and social rejection.
It's not the kids' fault. In the UK, as in the US, parents became much more fearful in the1980s and 1990s as cable TV and later the Internet exposed everyone, more and more, to those rare occurrences of crimes and accidents that now occur less and less. Outdoor play and independent mobility went down; screen time and adult-monitored activities went up.
Yet free play in which kids work out their own rules of engagement, take small risks, and learn to master small dangers turns out to be vital for the development of adult social and even physical competence. Depriving them of free play prevents their social-emotional growth. Norwegian play researchers Ellen Sandseter and Leif Kennair warned: "We may observe an increased anxiety or mental disorders in society if children are forbidden from participating in age adequate risky play."
They wrote those words in 2011. Over the following few years, their prediction came true. Kids born after 1994 are suffering from much higher rates of anxiety disorders and depression than did the previous generation. Besides, there is also a rise in the rate at which teenage girls are admitted to hospital for deliberately harming themselves.
What can we do to change these trends? How can we raise kids strong enough to handle the ordinary and extraordinary challenges of life? We can't guarantee that giving primary school children more independence today will bring down the rate of teenage suicide tomorrow. The links between childhood overprotection and teenage mental illness are suggestive but not clear-cut. Yet there are good reasons to suspect that by depriving our naturally antifragile kids of the wide range of experiences they need to become strong, we are systematically preventing their growth. We should let goand let them grow.
