Living gratefully has a huge transforming power, not just when something wonderful or special happens, but every day no matter what is happening.
I've recently been involved with two people whose lives were challenged by bad luck. I have seen how grateful living had the power to keep one of them going and how it's beginning to lift the other. One was a friend and the other is my sister.
My friend seemed to be in good health when she received a deadly diagnosis: a disease with no effective treatment. She had all the emotions that a tragedy brings, but she also had a powerful response to despair (绝望) that gave her "the happiness that doesn't depend on what happens." She wrote online daily, honestly sharing the details of her situation.
She wrote that even though it was difficult to move, this gave her more time to notice small things. She was grateful not only for the love and help of family and friends, but also for time to see the sun rise and watch the birds in her yard. No opportunity for gratefulness was wasted.
She taught that gratefulness is not a false cheerfulness. It's taking every opportunity to celebrate the blessings of small things. We can be grateful for the challenges that help us develop sympathy for each other. Life is a precious gift.
She repeatedly blogged that she was happier than she had ever been.
When she wrote about "the worst day", she ended with "life is still a lovely gift." She died later that day.
Her message, however, changed my sister's life. My sister's health was getting worse and worse, though nothing life-threatening. She did have a very painful knee. Her life was in danger from her defeated spirit. She was bed-bound (卧床不起), getting weaker and weaker. Fearful, angry and depressed, she felt out of options for recovery.
I read my sister a few of my friend's messages. I was careful not to say, "Why can't you be more like her?" Instead, I let the words do their work. I'm grateful to say that an attitude of gratitude began to replace her anger and fear. I believe this helped her to heal.
We can't be grateful for all that happens, but we can practice gratefulness for life itself, for all we can learn to deal with, for all the ways we can help each other grow and heal.
