Why are so many people so afraid to fail? Quite simply because no one tells us how to fail so that failure (失败) becomes an experience that means growth. We forget that failure is part of the human condition and that every person has the right to fail.
Most parents work hard at preventing failure or protecting their children from the knowledge that they have failed. One way is to lower standards. 60% of the parents choose this way. When a child finishes making a table, the mother describes it as “perfect” even though it doesn't stand still. Another way is to blame (责怪) others. If John fails in science, his teacher is unfair or stupid.
There's a problem with the two ways. It makes a child unprepared for life in the real world. The young need to learn that no one can be best at everything, no one can win all the time, and that it's possible to enjoy a game even when you don't win. A child who's not invited to a birthday party, who doesn't make the honour list on the baseball team, feels terrible, of course. But parents should not offer a quick consolations (安慰), prize or say, “It doesn't matter.” Because it does. The young should be allowed to experience failure and be helped to come out of it.
Failure never gives people pleasure. It hurts both grown-ups and children. But it can be really good to your life when you learn to use it. You must learn to ask “Why did I fail?” Don't blame anyone else. Ask yourself what you did wrong and how you can improve. If someone else can help, don't be shy about asking them.
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