Teaching Children about Forgiveness
If you've seen your children struggle to forgive someone for hurting them, you know that forgiveness is complicated. After all, forgiveness is complicated for adults, too. At times, we wonder why we're trying to forgive someone anyway; later, we might think we've forgiven them, only to experience a sudden burst of anger. Indeed, it takes many years for us to grasp the meaning of forgiveness as we grow up.
It's understandable that children may feel hurt or angry when a friend does something less-than-kind to them. Maybe the friend said something unkind or broke something precious, embarrassed them, excluded them, or told their secrets. Children may be tempted to get even with a friend who's done them wrong, by doing something worse or telling everyone how terrible the friend is, but trying to get revenge only escalates (升级) the conflict.
Parents can play an important role in teaching children about forgiveness. Children watch how important adults in their lives respond when someone does something unkind. Do they complain to others or speak directly to the person involved? How long does it take them to get over being mad or hurt? How do they get over it? Parents can teach their children about the value of forgiveness by regularly practicing it in their own lives.
Sometimes parents can talk with their children about forgiveness, based on where kids are in their cognitive (认知的) and emotional development. For example, children need to understand that no one is perfect, so generously forgiving a well-meaning friend is a caring thing to do. If parents can help children see things a little more from other people's perspective, this will make forgiveness easier. These conversations can change the way children think about forgiveness and help them emotionally recover when they inevitably experience harm and unfair treatment from others in life.
