My daughters are lovely and attractive. The 4-yearold has big blue eyes and easy laughter. The 7-year old's long strawberry blond hair and sweet smile are already turning the boys' heads. I love everything about these girls. and they know it.
But I try not to tell them they' re beautiful. My young daughters are totally innocent about the pressures of being a woman in our society. They know nothing about plastic surgery, diets. "feeling fat", or eating disorders. We adults know all too much about such things and in the face of this cruel reality we tend to start telling our girls,as soon and often as possible, how beautiful they are. Here's the thing. though. What we're also doing is bringing the beauty pressure home to our littlest girls. The more I talk about beauty and looks, even in a positive way. ,the more I'm conveying the importance of those things.
However, it doesn't mean I don't praise my girls. Instead of saying "You look beatutiful!" I might say the more specific "Don't you look fancy today!" or "Those colors go so well together. " It means that I treat my daughters not as my little dolls, but as real people who are developing their own sense of self and style. It means that they are in change of how they look.
Naturally, I buy most of my girls clothes. But I don't usually manage their outfit （整套衣服）choices. My daughters can go girly with necklaces and head-to-toe pink, or they can choose to give up dresses altogether. Of course we've seen some mismatching, but they own those styles. They never ask if they look pretty, and they walk with an easy confidence that has nothing to do with what l or anyone else will say about how they look. And that's the confident spirit I want them to take into their teens and adulthood.
