I was enjoying this afternoon more than I had expected. Often, the tryouts for the spring musical tested the limits of my patience and nerves, with one hopeful girl after another taking turns walking onto the wooden stage, delivering an adequate but uninspired version of some Rodgers & Hammerstein number, and then being politely excused by Mrs. Dominguez as the next name on the list was called.
However, this was to be my third straight year in the musical, and the confidence that my seniority afforded me around the more nervous newcomers allowed me to take pleasure in radiance (光辉) of my own balance.
I had already sung my audition (试唱) song an hour ago, starting the day's ceremonies. This year, I used "God Bless the Child", a choice I found to be quite sophisticated since Billie Holiday's version of it was familiar mostly to adults, and even then, mostly to adults of the previous generation. More importantly, it required a reserved performance, which I felt showcased my maturity, especially because most of the other auditioners chose songs that would show their enthusiasm, even if it meant their technical mastery would not be on full display.
Normally, the first audition was feared by most. Mrs. Dominguez would ask if anyone wanted to volunteer to "get it over with," but no one would make a sound. Then, she would call the first name off her list and the room would drop into an uncomfortably serious silence as the first student walked nervously up to the stage. I often imagined during those moments that I was witness to a death-house resident taking his march toward a quick curtain.
But not this year. I had decided to make a show of my own self-confidence by volunteering to go first. Such a fearless act, I had figured, would probably instill (灌输)even more fear into my competition because they would realize that I had something they clearly lacked. Mrs. Dominguez had seemed neither surprised nor charmed by my decision to go first. Although she was annoyed by my escalating (增加) pride, I also acknowledged that I was one of the more talented actors and was probably correct in assuming myself a winner.
At this late stage of the afternoon, I felt like a queen, sitting in the back of the auditorium with my royal court of friends and admirers. They took care to sit far enough away from Mrs. Dominguez that they would not be caught in the act of belittling (贬低) the other students' auditions.
To me, the endless parade of the ambitious who sang their hearts out for three minutes each was like clowns performing for my amusement. As Mrs. Dominguez read another name off her list, I prepared myself for a special treat.
