A few weeks ago, I found myself taken aback by the strange and rough behavior of a medical practitioner(行医者). For the first time that I could remember, I had missed an appointment, and she called to berate me. Yes, it was my fault, but I think I subconsciously avoided the appointment due to the aggressive communication we had had thus far.
I had a sense of what I was getting into when I chose to go with her — I was warned about her bedside manner — but she came, highly recommended by multiple people, and I did not have the energy to keep looking for other options. So I went with her and made myself ready for the journey.
But I was not prepared. She screamed at me for minutes on end, as I sat there, unable to get a word in, feeling terribly guilty and ashamed of the missed appointment and having wasted her time. There was no calm talk about paying for the missed appointment.
After the phone call, I felt terrible. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that everyone we meet comes into our lives for a reason.
A week or so later, after telling a friend about the event, I was blessed with this insight: This woman's attacking voice was familiar, and it was personified and strengthened by my harsh(刺耳的), critical inner voice. My friend helped me see what a blessing this encounter was. If I could see my inner critic as this woman with her associated foolish behaviour, I would not allow myself to buy into it.
I remember I once read an article which says that when we look at the behavior of others, we are looking at a mirror. According to the "Mirror Theory", when we observe character defects(缺点) in other people, we are really seeing the undeveloped and unresolved parts of our personality. With this in mind, not only do I need to examine how I view and treat myself, but also other people. So eventually, my encounter with this practitioner was for the best.
