Why Thoughtful Gifts Are the Worst Gifts?
During all kinds of holidays, millions of people will buy gifts for loved ones, which is great— 1 that tons of those people make the same mistakes, and buy the 2 gifts.
Roughly 10 percent of gifts are 3 each year—and the percentage of unwanted gifts is surely higher given that nice people may not want to return presents.
What's going on?
Gift buying 4 a deceiving selfish pursuit. We don't actually look for things people want to receive. 5, and to many of our gifts' detriments, we 6 look for things that we want to give. It's an important problem.
The research says 7 .
"Gift givers want to prove how well they know a person by choosing a thoughtful gift," said Mary Steffel, an assistant professor at the University of Cincinnati 8 research has focused on gift-giving. "But people aren't very good at guessing what others want."
Research has shown that givers value the gifts they buy more than recipients (接受者).The result seems to come from a simple wrong belief 9 thoughtful presents are the best presents. They are not. In fact, they 10 just be the worst presents. The more thought you put into a present, the more likely you are to stray from buying what the person you're buying the present for actually wants.
"Gift givers focus on what people are like instead of what people actually would like," said Steffel. "And it's most pronounced when they're shopping for people they are close to."
In other words, people let their gift-giving egos (自我)get 11 the way of great presents. Especially when the recipient is someone they want to show they know really well.
Fortunately, the answer to our 12 on guessing what people want is simple: stop it.
"People want 13 it is they happen to want in the moment, which can be very specific," Steffel said. "You are much better off 14 people what they want."
There is another helpful 15 of thumb. Buy gifts that can be used more broadly. People prefer gift cards to actual gifts, and cash to 16. Here is an example. 17 you have a friend, and your friend really likes margarita (玛格丽特鸡尾酒).You might think of buying that friend a margarita-maker.
But a margarita-maker, 18 it speaks to a specific quality in that friend, is actually a pretty 19 present. Better yet? Give the friend enough cash to buy the device, 20 it, and then accept the reality that they are probably going to buy something else they want much more.
