Everybody gets angry, but out-of-control anger isn't good for you or those around you. So here are five simple strategies to help you learn how to manage your anger:
• Relax. Breathe deeply, from your stomach. Repeat it to yourself and visualize a relaxing time and experience.
• Change the way you think. When you're angry, your thinking can get exaggerated (夸大的). For instance, instead of telling yourself, "Oh, it's terrible! Everything's ruined," tell yourself, "It's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world."
• Statements like "This never works." or "You're always forgetting things." will make you feel your anger is justified (情有可原的) and there's no way to solve the problem. They might upset people who might be willing to work with you on a solution.
• Have a better communication. Angry people tend to jump to conclusions. If you are in a heated discussion, slow down. And take your time before answering. Instead of saying the first thing that comes into your head, think carefully about what you want to say.
• Use humor. Psychologists say that highly angry people tend to think "things ought to go my way!" "Silly humor" can help you get a more balanced perspective. So, when you feel that anger coming the next time, picture yourself as a king or queen, walking around, admired by everybody, and getting your own way in every situation. The more detail you can get into your imaginary scenes, the more likely it is to put a smile on your face.
A. Be careful with words like "never" or "always".
B. Listen carefully to what the other person is saying.
C. Try replacing these thoughts with more reasonable ones.
D. Avoid using these strategies when you're in a tense situation.
E. Then slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "take it easy".
F. Try changing the topics so your talks won't turn into arguments.
G. That will help you realize that the things you're angry about are really not very important.
