My doctor took me for a walk around the farm where she lives. I was physically and emotionally exhausted and discouraged by anxiety and depression.
The place was full of life. There were insects, horses, rabbits and a cat. She told me to focus on my body in the environment.
When I was ill I tended to retreat into my mind and disconnect from here and now. So, when I met a horse named Fira, I expected nothing.
As I got closer to Fira, she nuzzled (用鼻子爱抚)her nose into my chest, putting a gentle pressure over my heart. Something happened inside me: I felt as if I had reached a wellspring (源泉)of past hurts, fears and failings. I began to melt emotionally.
I patted Fira's nose and breathed in her smell. I found I didn't have to concentrate on feeling better; Fira helped me feel loved and safe.
I worked with Fira often, learning basic communication and leading methods to work together with her. Initially, I wasn't sure exactly what one would do with a horse except riding it. But I knew that Fira had touched me in an uncommon way and had made me feel better. She connected with me by responding to my emotional state and reflecting it back to me in an open, affectionate way.
In my meetings with Fira, I found that I lost my usual self-consciousness and I would focus entirely on communicating.
I learned to live in the present, to focus on what was happening this day, in this moment, in this place. I learned to forget the past, with all its hurts. I learned to forget the future, which hasn't happened yet. When you stand beside a horse, you exist completely in the moment.
"With Fira by my side, I saw into a life in which trust comes first, and compassion follows.
I found a deep peace in leading her along a path, by using my own power of intention to indicate whether to start, stop, turn left or turn right. I felt an inner quiet and even joy. My work with this horse was part of a journey out of a very dark night in my soul.
