I was talking recently with my mom when our conversation reminded me of an interesting story. "This is very funny," I said. "One time I was diving with my friend Rudy… "
My mom cut me off impatiently. "I've heard this one before, honey," she said. "You don't need to tell it again."
Storytelling is a signal of faith (信任) in the relationship. When we share our personal experiences, we also share something about our values, our history, our outlook on life. But the benefits of storytelling only work if you're good at it—many of us are not. We fail to pay attention to our audience, ignoring them when they become bored, angry or confused. And we often throw in every detail we find interesting, no matter how irrelevant (不相干).
People who repeat the same stories over and over are considered as less sincere. We also find that listeners are less interested in getting along with someone retelling a story they've heard him or her tell before. We tend to think these storytellers aren't presenting themselves truly.
Good storytellers use their voice to express strong feelings, which show they really care about the story. Impressive stories that make people laugh or feel moved, touched or angry have the most impact. " If it causes a reaction in you, it's likely to cause a reaction in your audience," mom says.
I've learned a lot about storytelling in my work as a journalist (and from my mother). Tailor your story to your audience. Have a point. Edit yourself. Leave a straight wake—no going off the track. And most importantly, don't repeat yourself.