One of my second graders, Debbie, had been unusually quiet in my Family Living class. When I asked her if something was wrong, she replied, "I don't feel like talking today. I'm sad. My best friend's parents are going to get divorced (离婚的). Her father moved out of the house. I told her I would share my dad with her, but I know it isn't the same. "
I was surprised to learn that almost every child in my primary grade Family Living classes seemed to have some personal acquaintance (了解) with divorce—through friends of the family, neighbors, relatives, or much closer to home—their own parents. For many of them, divorce was just a normal part of life. Emily once said, "I want to be a doctor or nurse when I grow up, so after I get married and divorced, I'll be able to support myself. Then there was Billy, who stated, "When my mom gets married again next week, we're all going on a honeymoon.
Sometimes parents fight about the kids," said Kimberly. "My parents are divorced and my mom keeps pulling on one of my arms and my dad pulls the other." How sad, I thought, that a child would feel like her parents were actually pulling her apart because they each wanted more of her than the other should. "I hate that my parents are divorced! exclaimed Greg. "It's all my fault, too. I bite my nails too much. "
Lori tried to look at things from a more positive perspective. "Your mother and father got mad at each other, but it doesn't mean they got mad at you," said Lori. "Lori is right," I said. Sometimes a husband and wife realize that they no longer love each other and decide it will be best for the whole family if they don't live together anymore. But that doesn't mean they stop loving their children, and it certainly doesn't mean that it is the children's fault!
"Maybe your mom and dad will change their minds and get undevoured," Eric told Greg. "Then you can all be together again." Greg shook his head. "No, that won't happen." And then, with a thoughtful expression on his face, he said, "You know something? Divorce is like a cake. You cut it in half and it's separated forever. "
