As a people-pleaser, you care about pleasing other people so much because you want to be liked and don't want other people to think ill of you. It's a bad, never ending way of life, because people are always going to ask things of you.
Here's how you can stop being such a people-pleaser:
Wait!
Next time someone texts or emails a request, wait to reply. Wait up to 24 hours if you can! Show people how to treat us. And train them on what to expect from us.
Provide a choice
For those who want to say no in a gentle way, instead of giving an excuse, you can provide a choice. It's more useful too! Something like," I'd love to help you pick out a new sofa but not this weekend. Lucy has an excellent eye for sofas." is much more helpful.
Realize you have a choice
More times than you think, you can say no. Stop for a second when a choice comes up that feels uncomfortable. Then decide if, finally, a yes or no feels like freedom--and choose that.
K(no)w it gets easier
Saying no needs practice. The more you do it, the more used to it you become and the less people expect from you. Once you say you are unavailable a few times, people stop asking so much from you.
Recognize you can't please everybody
Other people will always control our lives if we let them. You can't please everyone. And a rich, wonderful life has lots of those "yes" moments--as well as plenty of loving "nos".
