One night before Bed, Christine Carter was sitting with her daughter in her legs. They were making a list: "Three Good Things of the Day." Her daughter, who was combing(梳)Carter's hair, said. "Mom, this is going to be one of my three good things."
Making a list was their way of reflecting on things they were grateful for. It's a skill based on an expanding field of research known as the science of happiness. Carter is a sociologist at the University of California, Berkeley. She studies how schools and families can develop positive emotions and help kids lead a healthier life.
Finding the positive side doesn't mean never being sad. It means understanding that feeling sad is natural, and that it passes more quickly if we can notice the good things in life. "This is really about mental health," Carter says. "We can practice bringing happiness to ourselves. It's like putting money in the bank. We can be ready to deal with hard times in the future."
A key step toward happiness is learning how to describe emotions, even negative ones. Feeling blue? It's better to accept the emotion willingly than to ignore it. Ask yourself: "What do I feel? Where in my body am I feeling it? Does it have a color or shape?"
Expressing gratitude is also important, Carter says. Let's say you often quarrel with a brother or sister. Reflect on why you're grateful to that person. Remember the good times. This makes it likely that you'll get along better tomorrow.
But the surest way to happiness is kindness. Helping others gives life purpose, Carter says, because you are changing the world. Even more, "We feel a sense of connection and love," she adds. "We are born to feel better in community. Our nervous system feels safe when we're connected with other people."
