Frankly, I appreciate myself very much. Yes, I admit I'm in many aspects not as good as other people, but I don't think I'm always not good. When I find what I've done or written is okay, I'll remain pleased with myself for quite a few days, and if I receive praise for it, I'll even become so excited as to add a few words to reward myself.
True, I'm not modest at all. People may call me conceited (自负的). But I think otherwise.
I appreciate other people. I appreciate anything good. Isn't it unfair to forget appreciating myself while appreciating others?
We Chinese generally tend to be modest, and we take pride in being so. For example, a Chinese man will call his own wife zhuojing, meaning "my humble wife", and his own writings zhuozuo, meaning "my poor writings". But if you call his wife a "rustic (乡村的) woman" or his writings "trash", he would, I'm sure, declare he would make a clean break with you angrily. As a matter of fact, there is probably no difference at all between what is said by him and you.
I don't think it's wrong of you to freely praise yourself if you're really worthy of praise. As we know, there is an old Chinese saying disparaging (蔑视) a melon seller, named Lao Wang, who keeps praising his own goods. Well, why can't he praise his melons if they are really sweet and juicy?
Lao Wang sells melons for a living. How could he carry on business if he, by imitating the affectations (装模作样) of us intellectuals, were to show false modesty about his melons? He would sure enough die of starvation.
Self-appreciation is therefore a key to professional dedication and enjoyment of work. Needless to say, the same is true of those who make a living with their pen. One will lose confidence in writing when he stops admiring his own essays.
