Imagine you made plans with a new friend to talk on the phone. You called but there was no answer-and you didn't get a call back. What happened? Perhaps they got held up by a work obligation. Perhaps they didn't want to meet but didn't bother to cancel. Or perhaps they had a busy week and simply forgot to write down your appointment time.
In social situations like this, our minds can produce various explanations, ranging from ones that are more understanding to ones that put blame to the other party. Psychologists refer to this as our attributional style. Past research has found that individuals with a "hostile" attributional style tend to be less satisfied with their relationships.
According to a new study, they're also less happy overall. The researchers can't say for sure whether seeing people as hostile directly lowers our happiness, or whether unhappy people are just more likely to make hostile attribution in the first place. However, this study does suggest the possibility that giving people the benefit of the doubt is a practice to improve our relationships and well-being.
Dorota Jasielska, lead researcher of the study, suggests that we start by developing positive and trusting social relationships. When we find ourselves surrounded by warmth and support, it can help us see the social world in a kinder light. Another important strategy is to have open and direct communication. Instead of letting your anxieties get worse, it may be better to simply talk to people about their confusing behavior.
So the next time a friend cancels plans or forgets to text back, consider giving him the benefit of the doubt and waiting to hear his side of things before jumping to conclusions. Assuming others have good intentions will make the world seem like a friendlier place.
