Is Small Talk Necessary?
What's the first thing you do when you enter a crowded room? You probably look around for a familiar face. When you can't find one, you have two choices: you can stand alone, or you can walk up and speak to someone that you don't know.
Starting a conversation with a stranger, though, is often uncomfortable and can be a little scary. Yet as you go through life, you're sure to encounter strangers in many different situations, when a need to connect with others will hopefully outweigh your fears. In order to prepare, it helps to learn the art of small talk.
Small talk is the beginning stage of a casual conversation, which usually takes place between strangers or casual acquaintances. With small talk, two or more people search for common interests and points of connection. If one is discovered, the conversation usually begins to flow more naturally, often resulting in deeper discussion.
Mastering a few techniques will allow you to enter a room full of strangers with confidence.
When you walk up to a group, notice anyone trying to make eye contact with you because this is often a sign that the person is interested in talking. Begin by introducing yourself, and then, you should begin with one of three topics: talk about yourself, the other person or something you can both observe, like the weather.
Another way to begin a conversation is with a compliment. Your praise of someone's scarf might lead to a discussion about favorite places to shop.
Radio host Terry Gross, who has interviewed thousands of people over the years, says one opening request works for her every time: "Tell me about yourself." This approach gets the ball rolling because people enjoy talking about themselves.
Though small talk takes practice, it's worth the effort and it's the stimulus that can lead to deeper conversations.
