The most useful and easiest way to connect with another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our full attention.
When people are talking, there's no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they're saying. Care about it. Caring is even more important than understanding. It has taken me a long time to believe in the power of saying and meaning "I'm sorry" when someone is in pain (痛苦).
One of my friends told me that when she tried to tell her story, people often broke in to tell her that something similar (相似) happened to them. For some reason or other, her pain became a story about them. In the end, she stopped talking to most people. It was too lonely. We connect ( 沟通) through listening. When we interrupt (打断) someone to let them know that we understand, we move the focus of attention to ourselves. When we listen, they know we care. Many people with serious illness can talk about the relief (轻松) of having someone just listen.
This simple thing hasn't been that easy to learn. It certainly went against everything I had been taught since I was young. I thought people listened only because they were too shy to speak or did not know the answer. A loving silence(沉默) often has more power to heal(治愈) and to connect than the kindest words.
