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    Most of us haven't been taught how to apologize (道歉). Sometimes our efforts tend to be hurtful and can make people feel even worse. When the apology is absent or it's a bad apology, it puts a crack in the very foundation of a relationship and can even end it. And that's why it is important to get it right. A good and responsible apology can meet the moment and improve our relationships.

    Less is more.

    Keep your apology short and avoid the drama. If you've forgotten to return your friend's bike, you don't have to overdo it as if you've run over her kitten. —it affects the flow of the conversation and shifts ( 转 移 ) the focus away from the person who needs to be paid attention to. You've made the apology all about you

    No ifs or buts.

    When you're apologizing for something, it's essential to show true sadness and regret.. "But" almost always means a criticism, or an excuse. It doesn't matter whether what you say after the "but" is true. The "but" makes your apology false.

    .

    If you always listen for what you don't agree with in order to defend yourself and correct the facts, it will do harm to both sides. Instead, you should keep an open mind and listen with an aim to understand the other person.

    . An apology isn't the only chance you ever get to address the existing issue. The apology is also the chance to establish the ground for future communication. When done with attention and care, an apology can be a channel for greater understanding and deeper connection.

    A. Be real

    B. Drop your defenses

    C. Over-apologizing is not only annoying

    D. Here are some tips to offer an apology

    E. A good apology is a beginning, not an end

    F. A sincere apology does not include ifs or buts

    G. It's not "I'm sorry" that fixes the problem, but your deeds

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