Criticism is harmful to healthy relationships. First, work on changing your own behavior. Then, find effective ways to communicate if someone bothers you.
Changing Your Behavior
● Think before you speak. Sometimes, it's best to let small indiscretions (轻率的行为) go. Try taking a few deep breaths and leaving the room instead of criticizing.
● Separate the individual from their actions. If you work on separating the person from the action, you may naturally want to criticize less. As you realize you cannot judge a person's character based on a single choice or decision, you will be unable to call someone out for being rude or disrespectful.
● Focus on positives. Oftentimes, being critical results from how you're choosing to see a situation. Everyone has shortcomings. However, the vast majority of people have good qualities that outweigh bad ones.
Communicating More Effectively
● Some people have issues that may need addressing. However, feedback is very different from criticism. When addressing an issue, focus on suggestions you can make to help another person improve, which is more effective than criticizing.
● Ask for what you want directly. Inefficient communication often results in heavy criticism. Make sure to ask for what you want in a direct, respectful manner. This will eliminate (消除) the need for criticism.
● Consider the other party's perspective. If you criticize others too often, you may be shutting out the other person's point of view. Try to step in another person's shoes before criticizing and you may get some new and special ideas.
A. Give feedback rather than criticism.
B. However, there are ways to avoid criticism.
C. Try to focus on a person's positive qualities over their negative ones.
D. If you find yourself making assumptions about a person's character, stop yourself.
E. If you're not telling someone what you want, that person cannot be expected to know.
F. Criticism should, ideally, be working towards an effective solution to a negative situation.
G. When you want to dish out criticism, pause and consider whether you really need to say anything.
