A positive attitude can be a gift to those around you," said Jamie Long, a clinical psychologist in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. "But it shouldn't take the place of listening thoughtfully to others' experiences."
"When you choose to look at situations from one positive angle, you are very likely to dismiss a true experience," Long explained. Even if you try to cheer up someone, ignoring someone's difficult experiences can leave them feeling they should hide negative feelings in the future.
As examples of "positive" responses that might destroy a friend's ability to share their feelings, Long listed: "Look for the silver lining" and "it could be worse". Instead of trying to find a positive angle, Long suggested using accepting phrases that communicate a willingness to listen, and to share life's difficult moments with the people you care about.
Still, the positive benefits of negative emotions may be best experienced in relatively small doses(剂量). Lomas Quintero highlighted that appreciating the value of difficult feelings is all about finding balance. "Any negative emotion can go too far or turn into a clinical issue," he said.
Long agreed. "There is an abundance of research that really touts(吹捧)the benefits of positivity, and we're not denying that, " Long said. "When you do so to an extreme, when you dismiss truth, that's where problems arise."
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