Supporting Others
We're always being told that the secret to happiness lies in helping others. Indeed, it's natural to want to support those we care about, especially if we are in a position to do so.
When we offer support, it may not always be wanted. In this case, offering support in the manner of "…if I were you, I would …" can feel like a scolding rather than support. If our support feels conditional, it can feel burdensome.
When someone is trying to manage illness or a house move, just saying "What would help you today?" can be amazingly supportive. Or, suggest what you can do for them: picking up some shopping, taking the dog for a walk. Even if it's not needed, just knowing you've been thought of can be supportive in itself.
Try to be mindful of offering support that is disabling, rather than enabling. My son, when aged five, wanted to make a cup of tea. I could see how inspiring it was for him to be able to do this. So I filled the kettle and took him through the safety measures. It felt like a huge risk but it worked. His pleasure was immeasurable. The same principle applies when we offer support that increases someone else's capacity.
Sometimes the only support that's needed is to listen without judgement. This reassures them that someone cares enough to listen while they ground themselves. When times are tough, remember to keep things stable. Waiting until the storm has passed is all it takes.
Support often works best when it's a two-way process. It is good to know how to accept help from others as well as offer support to them.
A. Here are the pros and cons of supporting others.
B. Just be there，while someone lets out their feelings.
C. Ask what support is needed and provide a practical one.
D. This can often be a bigger gift than just doing it for them.
E. But we can do more by thinking about the support we offer.
F. Because being judgmental can only make someone annoyed.
G. Sometimes people are trying to manage life in their own way.
