For as long as we can remember, one of the most popular ways parents use to punish their children has been the "time out".
It seems that it is a good idea: the child sits on his own to reflect (反思) on what he has done. Then, when the time is up, he will apologize and learn from the mistake.
However, just because it's something that's been done for years, that doesn't mean it is the right thing to do. In fact, very often, children don't sit nicely and think about what they've done. Instead, they need to be told a few (or many) times to go back to their places and stay quiet
They're not reflecting on why they are in the "time out" at all. More likely than not, they're probably just really angry, and 'so' are the parents. In the end, both the parents and the children make each other unhappy, or even angry.
What can parents do to change this situation? You may have already heard of things like peaceful parenting (育儿) and gentle parenting. These focus on the relationship between parent and child through building trust and love. So, instead of starting a "time out", try something called "time in". A "time in" needs both parent and child to stay close until both get calm. After that, the parent, and child can discuss what happened and solve the problem together. If the child can make changes, everyone can then move on.
As we all know, punishment and violence (暴力) seldom wok and will never teach he children what the right way to at is. A “time in" can be the great time for the children to learn through mistakes. Kids learn how to build their emotional and social skills through difficult situations. So, instead of punishing them for acting their age, we can use chances to teach and guide them to a place of learning.
A "time in" may take more time, but it does work.
