Recently I read an article written by Edan Lepucki and titled "Don't Play With Your Kids. Seriously. " It makes a case for parents consciously withdrawing from their children's playtime until those children are able to play independently all the time.
According to Edan Lepucki, there are two main reasons. One is that it allows the child time and space to delve into wonderful imaginary worlds that he or she is not able to enter in quite the same way if a parent is present.
The second reason is that it gives parents a break. With everything else we do on a daily basis-feeding, cleaning, disciplining, educating, transporting, and more—it's simply too much to be expected to entertain our kids actively, as well. Lepucki describes a sense of exhaustion to which I can relate.
"The constant quarrelling was so exhausting that my husband and I didn't have the energy to play the way my son preferred. After 1 scolded him, I felt guilty and frustrated"
Adopting a no-play approach changed everything, improving both the relationship with her son and her own mental wellbeing, and it has done the same for me, with my own three children.
I have another reason for choosing this approach: It builds greater independence in children. Children play differently when adults are present. They tend to rely on adults to solve conflicts，whereas when they're on their own, they have no choice but to rise to the occasion and deal with any issue.
Lenore Skenazy, the author of "Free Range Kids", told me that when adults are present, kids act like kids, but when adults leave, kids become adults. She said, "If there's an adult there, they will take over. So adults need to step back. "
Take this as your excuse to stop playing with your kids. Know that it's perfectly OK to say no, to admit you need a break, and to encourage your children to play without you. Then sit back and observe the clever, imaginative little humans you've created at play. It's a most satisfying feeling.
