When kids melt down in the middle of a crowded store or at a holiday dinner with extended family, it can be extremely frustrating. But parents can help kids learn self-control and teach them how to respond without just acting on impulse (冲动).
Teaching self-control is one of the most important things that parents can do for their kids because these skills are some of the most important for success later in life. By learning self-control, kids can make appropriate decisions and respond to stressful situations in ways that can yield positive outcomes. For example, if you say that you're not serving ice cream until after dinner, your child may cry, plead, or even scream in the hopes that you will give in. But with self-control, your child can understand that a temper tantrum (发脾气) means you'll take away the ice cream for good and that it's wiser to wait patiently.
Difficult as it may be, resist the urge to yell when you're disciplining your kids. Instead, be persistent and matter of fact. During a child's meltdown, stay calm and explain that yelling, throwing a tantrum, and slamming doors are unacceptable behaviors that have consequences. Your actions will show that tantrums won't get kids the upper hand. For example, if your child gets, upset in the grocery store after you've explained why you won't buy candy, don't give in – thus demonstrating that the tantrum was both unacceptable and ineffective. Also, consider speaking to your child's teachers about classroom settings and appropriate behavior expectations. Ask if problem-solving is taught or demonstrated in school.
And model good self-control yourself. If you're in an annoyed situation in front of your kids, tell them why you're frustrated and then discuss potential solutions to the problem. For example, if you've misplaced your keys, instead of getting upset, tell your kids the keys are missing and then search for them together. If they don't turn up, take the next constructive step. Show that good emotional control and problem solving are the ways to deal with a difficult situation.
