How to Quiet a Complainer(抱怨者)
Have you ever suffered your mother's complaints about her aches and pains? Lengthy complaints will ruin the quality of your time together. Actually there are some ways to get a complainer to stop without starting an argument.
Change the subject. Some complainers will switch topics if you shift the conversation in a direction that interests them. If your neighbor is complaining about the phone company, tell her about an unexpected call you received from an old friend. If your coworker is complaining about your boss, ask whether he met the new employee.
Summarize the complaint. If your complainer keeps repeating himself, he may stop if you show that you're listening. Using "I" statements rather than "you" statements show that you're interested rather than trying to shut the person down. Avoid saying the word complaining. Saying you hear their dissatisfaction gets the points across.
Try to be honest. When you have things to do, tell the complainer that you must cut the conversation short. You can simply be honest, even saying you need to move on so the conversation doesn't bring you down – especially if it's someone who's complained to you many times before.
When it's someone very close to you–your partner, sibling, or best friend–who stresses you out with a lot of negativity, it's important to talk about the problem with an open heart. Otherwise, if you bottle up your feelings and continue listening to repeated complaints, you may grow angry or start avoiding the person.
A. Have a heart-to-heart talk.
B. Challenge the person to act.
C. But you may not be brave enough to stop her.
D. Just get them off the focus that they're currently on.
E. The problems start when complaining becomes a habit.
F. You don't need excuses such as a work deadline or a dentist appointment.
G. Ask something like, "Can I tell you what I've heard and I understand how you feel?"
