Just the other day, 1 was in a bookshop and found a book named How to make friends with foreigners. As a Canadian living in China for a year, I was curious to see what kind of advice a Chinese writer giving on this matter.
One piece of advice really caught my attention and, I must say, made me feel quite angry. In the writer's opinion, foreigners are an"opportunity (机会)"to improve your oral English; whenever you see a foreigner, American or English, you should practise speaking English with him or her. If the foreigner doesn't want answer your questions, then he or she is a rude person who you wouldn't want to spend time with anyway. I think this advice is not only incorrect, but also may harm the relationship between Chinese and foreigners in China.
Like most other "Lao Wai" living in China, I know how lonely one can sometimes feel living in a culture different from our own familiar (熟悉的) ways. However, I simply accept as part of being here. So far my time in China has been rewarding. I have improved my Chinese language skills, learned about one of the fastest developing countries in the world today and made some very close Chinese friends.
However, I have also met many Chinese people who consider me only as an "opportunity" to improve their oral English. I have had people following me from town to my flat to trouble me to teach them English. I have had complete strangers throwing articles or speeches in my face, insisting that I help them with the English translation. I have had people asking me non-stop questions for half an hour at the weekly English Corner ...
Friendship for a lot of foreigners is about spending time with someone whose company (陪伴) they really enjoy. So if there is any advice to give on making and keeping friendships with foreigners, I would say that it is this: Treat foreigners as people, not opportunities. Expect to make friendships step by step, over a period of time, not in a rush.____ If your only reason for becoming fiends with a foreigner is to improve your English, then you will probably find that you don't have a foreign friend for long.
