For most people, death is hard to think about. We tend to avoid the subject-involuntarily, even. The philosopher. Stephen Cave offers one explanation for this avoidance in his 2012 book, Immorality. "Death, " he writes, "presents itself as both inevitable and impossible. " You can know rationally that you will die, yet struggle to understand your nonexistence. Put another way, you cannot be conscious of your own consciousnesses.
So we dismiss death form our thoughts. But this leads us to make choice in life that actually reduce our happiness. People who express more regrets tend to be those who postpone profound activities that yield meaning, such as appreciating beauty or spending more time with loved ones. When we avoid thoughts of death, we unconsciously assume that tomorrow will look a lot like today, so we can do tomorrow what we could today. But when we focus on death, that increases the stakes at play in the present, and clarifies what we should do with our time.
By forcing ourselves to think about death, our resources-use decisions change. I ask my 20-something graduate students to estimate how many Thanksgivings they realistically have left with their parents, and then to consider how they should spend those remaining occasions. This usually simulates a strong emotional reaction. But it can also alter such decisions as where they choose to live and work. This highlights that facing discomfort and thinking seriously about the impermanence of your mortal life are important for making decisions that enhance your happiness.
There are other benefits. For example, paradoxical though it may seem, considering death can encourage positive thinking, as researchers found in 2007. People prepared to think about their death tended to focus on favorable emotional information around them, and to interpret random words in a pleasanter way. You begin to think extremely clearly, and realize that you have a choice about how to see present moment—and choose the positive.
If you insist ignoring your own death, you are likely to make decisions that cause you to sleepwalk through life. You may not be dead yet, but you are not fully alive either. I you can look across that border with resolve and confidence, you will experience every day fully and deeply.
