In high school, I was an editor of the school newspaper at the student union. And I won two national awards. I've been so focused on my dream of being a magazine editor that I've never wasted my time being fake-friendly to people—I was too busy for that. I almost didn't socialize much in school, which meant I almost didn't have any real friends in school. Unexpectedly, that annoyed a lot of people out of my expectation, so they began to talk aboutme behind my back. The gossip (流言蜚语) never bothered me since I was so into my goals and had no time to care much. But then I appeared on TV, and things changed.
When the show first broadcast last May, I received dozens of mean posts about me on the media sites, calling me "crazy", and even some dirty words were used. Worse still, some strangers shot their fingers at me. How could they say such terrible words to me when they'd never met me? I still tried to focus on my work and told myself not to care about this, but that didn't stop their comments from streaming in. Every day, mess messages continued to come in and it seemed no sign of end.
When I walked into class on a Monday morning, some girls actually pointed and whispered that I broke down the TV program. I wish I could have faced all negative things calmly or even ignore the gossip, but I couldn't. Each time I went out of or into the classroom, there would be people I knew or total strangers, staring at me or whispering, only adding to my sense of shame, and I just wasn't able to shake any of it off. All the negative attention started to overwhelm me physically and mentally.
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Soon after, all the negative words started to destroy me.
……
I saw a quote in the journal. "Once you choose your way of life, be brave to stick it out and never return."
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