The term "killjoy parents" has been trending on Chinese social media platforms as many young people complain that their parents would rather criticize than (praise) them for their accomplishments. One poster, for example, remarked that his parents said his high score in math wasn't good enough because several other students had scored higher. Another complained that, after getting accepted into a "second-tier (二流的)" university, the response he got from his father was "Congratulations. You got admitted to a garbage university."
It's a terrible feeling to have someone "burst your bubble" when you think they should be sharing your Joy. And your parents, after all, are probably the people you most want to share the best moments in your life. But why do some parents seem to be so hard to please?
I think a lot of it has to do with Chinese society. Parents know that life can be full of hardship and difficulties, and they want their children to be hardened" to these realities. Another reason probably be found deep in Chinese culture.
When I asked a Chinese friend Chinese parents don't praise their children, he said it's because they don't want to bring their children bad luck. He told me the story of two women sitting in a park and watching their children play. One of the mothers said to the other, "Your boy is so handsome and healthy." That other mother replied, "No, he's very ugly and he's a very sickly child." The mother, my friend explained, didn't want her son praised the "gods" heard and punished him. It's an old superstition (迷信), but it does have some basis in fact.
American parents, at the other extreme, (teach) to never criticize their children because it may hurt their feelings their self-esteem (自尊). Instead, they are told to always praise their children, even for failure. Psychologists (心理学家) now believe this is a bad idea. According to one study, too much praise can result in negative effects. kids with low self-esteem felt even worse about themselves, kids with high self-esteem became narcissistic (自恋的) or self-centered. Moreover, children who got too much praise were (likely) to take risks, were unable to deal with failure, and tended to give up when (face) with challenges.
Having "killjoy parents " may not be enjoyable, it' s important to recognize that their seemingly critical nature doesn't negate (否定) the love they have for you. In their hearts, they genuinely (真诚地) share in your joy.
