When someone has a sharply different viewpoint from our own, we naturally choose two common ways, either avoiding a conversation with that person or trying to convince （说服） them they are wrong. Research shows there is another way: using receptive（接纳性的）language, showing that we are truly interested in a new point of view.
Many of us try to avoid disputed （有争议 的 ）discussions. We prefer to talk with someone with similar opinions. This happens because we usually think that talking to someone who has disagreements will be more unpleasant than it actually is. When we do have to talk with people holding different views, we typically try to convince them to give up their belief because we think we are right and try to "win" the argument. And the other side is likely to think the same way, which leads to even more difficult problems to walk through.
A more effective method is being conversationally receptive. Research shows that when we appear receptive to others ' different views, our arguments sound more convincing. Receptive language can also make those with whom we disagree more receptive in return. It makes us more likable, and others more interested in partnering with us.
Researchers suggested three tips that can help us improve conversational receptiveness in even the most heated disagreements.
Recognize the other person's point of view. Say "I understand that . . . or" "I believe what you're saying is . . . " to show that you take an active part in the conversation and find value and even trust in their points.
Hedge your statements. When we talk, we usually hold the opinion that we should be strong and confident and express our views in a direct, forceful way. But if we show that we are not so sure about our belief, our views will be better received.
Express your arguments in an acceptable way. You might say, "Let's consider the possible benefits of having fewer people working on the project "rather than" "We should not add more people to the project. " The second sentence sounds unpleasant, showing that the speaker is not open to the possibility of further discussion.
By following these tips in our communication, we'll be more likely to have an effective conversation and bridge the differences.
