In an "always on" world, we worry about the burdens that are shouldered by the teens and their peers (同龄人).
Teens tell us about significant stresses that come with trying to be a "good friend" in the age of social media. Friendship requires both public and behind-the-scenes support. Even before a social media post is made public, close friends can be pulled into photo selection, editing, and final checking. Once posts appear, friends are expected to step up and fast. Liking posts is the minimum requirement. A seventeen-year-old told how liking a friend's post immediately set off a direct message asking her why she hadn't commented yet. Then she had to comment on it. To many teens, the time between a message being read and commented matters a lot. Replying too quickly can be seen as over-eager, especially when the friendship is new or not close. But when it's a close friend, too long a lag (间隔) can be hurtful. One teen told us, "If I don't stay connected on the line, the friendship will fall apart."
Teens also bear the burden of bearing constant witness to peers' mental health struggles on public display. Certainly, the "wonderful" quality of social media posts-everyone is apparently living their best life-can be hard for some teens. But there's a kind of emotional impact that comes as teens see peers' cutest pictures dotted with cries for help.
The qualities that make or break friendships are actually the same as they've always been: mutual (相互的) sharing of joys and sorrows, a give and take of support, and an ability to weather and resolve conflicts. But technologies have transformed how friendships play out. Social media increases the burdens that come along with being a good friend. Too often, these dynamics hit teens hard in ways that are lost on adults. We need that to change.
