You keep secrets from each other; you keep secrets from yourselves. Secrets1 you; secrets drive you apart. Keeping a secret can be a burden, while sharing secrets can be a 2 , whether it's with your old friend or a supportive family member.
For children, learning to keep secrets is a(n) 3 milestone. In one study, researchers asked kids who were three, four, and five to play hide-and-seek and to keep a secret about a surprise. 4 to do the two tasks connected strongly with each other, and with the kids' social cognition(认知). At three, the kids were fairly 5 at these tasks. By the age of five, most children can keep a secret, their cognitive development 6 the demands of this task.
For adults, this is7 behavior. "8 all adults of normal intellectual and psychological functioning do keep personal secrets at one time or another," writes Anita E. Kelly, author of The Psychology of Secrets.
Yet 9 ages and cultures, multiple studies show the personal health 10 of sharing your private hopes and fears with trusted friend--and the corresponding 11 of keeping some secrets entirely to yourself.
Truly 12 relationships depend on really seeing another person, which means knowing the deep reaches that not everyone has access to. However, we can never completely merge with (融入) another, nor should we — being an adult requires 13 healthy boundaries — but sharing these soft parts of ourselves allows others to love us, just as 14 others' secrets allows us to love them. The sweet spot is to 15 more of the secrets than we feel comfortable with. But never all of them.
