Sometimes our friends can do things that make us upset, and we might want to talk to them about it. But how can we make these talks easier? Here are several pieces of advice:
It's important to have good evidence (证据) that there is a problem. The evidence should be something that you both agree on. Once you have evidence, you can explain how it influences you. Describe problems with "I". Saying "I feel hurt that you spend less time with me." is better than "You never spend time with me!"
Staying calm (冷静的) during the talk is necessary. If you get angry, it might lead to a fight. You can tell your friend that this talk makes you feel a little nervous. In this way, you will show a more human side.
Let go of being right. It's important to listen to your friend's opinion. Don't just think you are right. You can try to understand how he or she feels.
Listen and plan. You can try not to argue by listening carefully to your friend. Many scientists suggest planning what you want to say, so you can say it in a way that doesn't create trouble.
Be realistic (实事求是的). Remember that difficult problems can't be solved in just one talk. Think about what is possible to achieve in one discussion. This will help you set realistic goals (目标) for what you can achieve.
