The text from my son said it all: "Dad, there's an article you were born to write that the world is finally ready for: Bring Back the Handkerchief!" As my son knows, there's no "bring back" for me. For me, the handkerchief never left.
My mother raised me with several fixed rules. One was that a gentleman always has a clean handkerchief in his right rear pocket, a piece of simple cotton, roughly 15 inches square and less than four inches when folded. I was a dutiful son, but as a child, I had been wondering what it was there for. After 60 years, my body weight now feels wrong if I'm heading out of the house with an empty back pocket.
I am sure this habit has sometimes struck friends but in polite company nobody comments on somebody else's business. Children like my kids think of my hankie ridiculously old-fashioned and they have their arguments. If you have to be prepared every day for allergies or a cold, why not choose a little packet of tissues, which saves you from that disgusting business of blowing your nose in the thing and then stuffing it back in your pants?
Point taken. But a handkerchief is more durable and has a far wider variety of uses. Can you grab the handle of a pot that's boiling over with a Kleenex? Or do you recall the cases of skinned knees and drippy noses that hankie wiped? In fact, my wife gave me several new handkerchiefs as gifts. Neither of us can count the number of times her eyes have welled up at a movie, or, as happens, she's needed to blow her nose.
Yet not even my mother could have anticipated the hankie's new role as an Essential Public Health Appliance. All of us have learnt how hard it is to follow advice from medical experts about not touching your face. Here is an answer. Use your hankie. In case of emergency, your handkerchief can become a makeshift DIY mask that can be pulled over your lower face like a robber entering a bank.
And it will certainly give me the chance to lift my chin and look at my adult children through one eye, asking in her good-hearted way, "What do you have to say now, smarty-pants?"