Our feelings influence almost every decision we make. Instead of living a boring life, positive (积极的) feelings can help us a lot. The pity is that sometimes become victims of feelings.
In one of my latest books, I compare people's ability to controls (控制) on a media player. Just like the controls can help you enjoy wonderful songs, these methods will be choices for you to manage feelings successfully.
⒈Pause.
Take time to stop and think before you speak or act. Of course, you may feel sorry if you like doing something without thinking-like sending an angry email or posting something bad on social media. If you feel your feelings getting out of control, pause. If possible, go for a short walk. Once you've calmed down, decide how you want to move forward.
⒉Volume control
Have you ever noticed that when speaking with someone, your style or tone is a mirror (镜子) of the person's you are speaking to? If you stay calm or quiet, they'll follow you. Shout or scream, and they'll do just like you. If a discussion starts to become worse, try to change it by softening your tone or lowering your voice.
⒊Record
If you want to learn more about another person's thoughts, recording, one way of careful listening, may help. You don't need to reply at once; you're listening to understand. Through careful listening, you often see things you didn't see before and can even discover misunderstandings you didn't know. Don't judge or offer advice before you know more about others and the topic.
Sometimes, our decisions are affected by our feelings. If you keep positive feelings, you can living a boring life. Some methods can help you in controlling your feelings. First, doing without thinking may make you what you've said or done. It's wise of you to pause when your feelings become bad. Second, when speaking with someone, the other person usually offers you a reply in the style or tone. So controlling volume is very important. What's more, recording is one way of careful listening, with the of learning more about another person's thoughts. Follow this way, you can judge or offer suggestions.
