To forgive is a virtue (美德) , but no one has ever said it is easy. When someone has deeply hurt you, it can be extremely difficult to let go of your hate. However, forgiveness is possible. People who forgive show less sadness, anger and stress and more hopefulness, according to a recent research.
How should you start to forgive? Try the following steps:
Calm yourself. You can take a couple of breaths and think of something that gives you pleasure: a beautiful scene in nature, or someone you love.
Don't wait for an apology (道歉) . Many times the person who hurt you does not mean to apologize. If you wait for people to apologize, you could be waiting an awfully long time. Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean becoming fiends again with the person who upset you.
Take the control away from your offender (冒犯者) . Rethinking about your hurt gives power to the person who causes you pain. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you.
Try to see things from your offenders angle (角度) . If you understand your offender, you may realize that he or she was acting out of unawareness fear and even love. You may want to write letter to yourself from your offender's point of view.
Don't forget to forgive yourself. For some people, forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge. It can rob you of your self-confidence if you don't do it.
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Learn to forgive (原谅) |
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Calm yourself |
You can take some breaths and something beautiful. |
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Don't wait for an apology. |
The person who hurt you does not mean to apologize. Remember that forgiveness does not mean it is _to become friends again with the person who upset you. |
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Stay away from your offender |
Learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you _ focusing on your wounded feelings. |
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Ty to _ your offender |
You may want to write a letter to yourself from your offender's point of view. |
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Don't forget to forgive yourself. |
For some people, forgiving themselves is the challenge! |
