While verbal and written communication skills are important, nonverbal behaviors make up a large percentage of our daily interpersonal communication.
Good eye contact is an essential nonverbal communication skill. When people fail to look at others in the eye, it can seem as if they are trying to hide something. On the other hand, too much eye contact can seem aggressive. While eye contact is an important part of communication, ifs important to remember that good eye contact does not mean staring fixedly into someone's eyes. Some communication experts recommend intervals of eye contact lasting four to five seconds.
If you are confused about another person's nonverbal signals, don't be afraid to ask questions. A good idea is to repeat back your interpretation of what has been said and ask for clarification. An example of this might be: "So what you are saying is that..." Sometimes simply asking such questions can lend a great deal of clarity to a situation. For example, a person might be giving off certain nonverbal signals because he has something else on his mind.
Another important part of good nonverbal communication skills involves being able to take a more holistic approach to what a person is communicating. A single gesture can mean any number of things, or maybe even nothing at all. The key to accurately reading nonverbal behavior is to look for groups of signals that reinforce a common point. If you place too much emphasis on just one signal out of many, you might come to an inaccurate conclusion about what a person is trying to say.
According to some, a firm handshake indicates a strong personality while a weak handshake is taken as a lack of courage. This example illustrates an important point about the possibility of misreading nonverbal signals. A limp handshake might actually indicate something else entirely, such as arthritis (关节炎).Always remember to look for groups of behavior.
