At the graduate program's annual workshop（研讨会）, presentation after presentation highlighted students' successes, But Michelle, Emily, and two other PhD students were taking a different approach, sharing their most painful failures. The audience of PhD students sat in silence, apparently shocked. However, they weren't ashamed, but proud to share their full selves and build a foundation for authentic relationships.
Setbacks（挫折） are an unavoidable part of graduate school, but often we try to hide them. By sharing our whole selves, including our failures, we go on to build a deep, meaning-ful relationship.
Michelle and Emily wanted others to experience that openness and support, too. So they made a change to the workshop by presenting their stories onstage, and invited the audience members to turn to one another and share their own significant failures. An awkward silence followed, but it only lasted a few seconds. Soon the students jumped into enthusiastic conversation,
From that point forward, every presentation at the workshop included some mention of the failures that led to the results. The students shared that their most significant data slides took more than a year to get right. It reminded the audience that behind every impressive re-sult is a person who is just trying his or her best.
Since the workshop, Michelle and Emily have noticed a continuous change in their classmates. Besides feeling closer to their classmates, the students are asking one another for help not only on technical challenges, but also about how to handle the personal challenges.
It's hard to relate to someone when all we know about them is their accomplishments. We should talk about failure and normalize it. To lead by example, Emily said that she hadn't won an NSF fellowship. It was a disappointment, but she was proud to share it.
