How often do you talk with someone? How often do you find you can't remember his/her words? Or, perhaps you get distracted (分心) while he/she is speaking and miss his/her messages. Nowadays, modern life is full of distractions: TVs, radios, telephones, and so on, which can make it difficult to listen attentively.
But how can we listen more effectively? John Kabatzin, professor at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, put forward the idea of mindful (用心的) listening. He said mindfulness means paying attention in a special way, with a purpose, at the present moment and non-judgmentally (不评头论足地).
When we listen mindfully, we many have some difficulties but still remain open to the speaker's ideas and messages. Mindfulness encourages us to focus on the present moment, avoid distractions and ignore physical and emotional reactions (反应) to what people say.
But how can we apply mindful listening to our life? John describes three key elements (要素) which can help improve our listening skills.
First, be present. When we listen, focus on the speaker without distractions. Then cultivate the ability to understand others. When we develop it, we can understand a situation from someone else's point of view. Finally, listen to our own "cues", such as the thoughts, feelings and physical reactions that we have when we feel anxious or angry.
The rule is simple: just "Listen"! Listen carefully and attentively. Pay full attention to the other person, and don't let other thoughts, like what we are going to say next, distract us.
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