A few years ago, I was giving a presentation to the CEO of a company. Through the entire meeting time, the CEO sat at the conference table with his arms tightly crossed without a smile. I was sure that he was not satisfied, but later his assistant told me her boss was impressed with my presentation. Suddenly, I realized that, it was his usual behavior. Here are three more: ignoring the context, finding meaning in a single gesture, comparing with a proper culture.
First, context(语境) is king. The same nonverbal(不用语言的) gestures can take on totally different meanings in different contexts. You can't really make sense of someone's nonverbal message unless you understand the circumstances behind it. For example, if you yawn in a staff meeting because you were up early for an international business call, let people know why you're tired.
Then, people are constantly trying to evaluate your state of mind by monitoring your body language. But often they will assign meaning to a single nonverbal gesture. Generally speaking, people take more notice of any sign that indicates you're in a bad mood and not to be approached. So, you may be more comfortable standing with your arms folded across your chest, but others judge that single gesture as resistant and unapproachable.
When I talk about culture, I'm referring to a set of shared values that a group of people hold. More importantly, they are the kind of criteria by which people judge others. We all have cultural biases(偏见) that regard some nonverbal behaviors as normal and right and others as strange or wrong. What's proper and correct in one culture may be ineffective or even rude in another.
Understanding them, and trying not to make the same ones, will help you display your nonverbal ability.
A. Such values affect how members of the group think and act.
B. Nonverbal signals are very common in our daily life.
C. These are people's most common mistakes when they read your body language.
D. As with me, when people don't know your usual behavior they can easily jump to the wrong conclusion.
E. Without this context, you'll look like you're just bored.
F. If they don't know the context, embarrassment will appear.
G. This is because the human brain pays more attention to negative messages than it does to positive ones.
