When it comes to settling down young children, parenting advice focuses mostly on one tool: What to say. Parents are taught to say this or that, or even how to apologize to an angry child. While in practice, many parents turn to another means of comforting: Touch their child. But it's not just any type of touch. It occurs at a particular speed and with a particular pressure.
During the end of the 19th century, many European doctors actually advised parents not to touch their children because they said it would weaken them and make them dependent. This idea hit a fever height in the 1920s when the psychologist John B. Watson wrote a parenting book in which Watson advises mothers to stay away, physically, from children. He believed that by not touching young children, parents teach them to be independent at an early age.
"But then it turns out that the opposite is actually true," Neuroscientist Helena Wasling says. "Children who get a lot of touch, support and closeness from their parents are actually the ones that dare to go out and explore, as they grow up, because they have a basic safety that they can depend on." And of course, gentle touch can calm and relax adults, just as much as they do children, says Wasling.
After decades of research, neuroscientists are beginning to understand how our skin senses this type of touch and how that feeling lights up regions of the brain to affect our emotions. It turns out that our skin contains nerves (神经) which can sense a gentle touch. And these nerves are part of a system inside our skin that excites the warm, calm and peaceful feeling you have when you're with people who love you. For some kids with autism (自闭症), this type of touch might not feel good, Wasling notes, and may even feel bad. "A child with autism may become over-sensitive towards physical touch." she says. "The relationship between touch and reward (奖励) can be totally different."
